Saturday, October 30, 2010

One by my friend

this one is by my friend..

wish i could write so too...

A heart that bleeds...

one day, one sitting, one posture, one breath...
these were born...

feel exhausted...


Monday, October 18, 2010


memoirs of a lovely time...

listening to waltz

This night is precious to me... I am listening to waltz.. Some tune that renders the heart tender.. I am growing weak for the night. This music has taken my pains away. And I like to dwell in the shade of this music forever. As the night grows young, I am getting addicted to this magical tune. Dancing piano over saxophone and drums, gently playing over my emotions.. One by one, they tell tales of unending mysticism and joy. Each beginning kindles a new affinity that lasts for ever. Some take me away from the earth, some pull me down, some kick my hard, some whisper in my ears, some.... Hah, finally at the end of this tiresome and sad day, I have some joy to taste. It means much to me. And I remember all the sweet elements of my life that made me smile, that made me shed a tear.. I love those moments, those friends, those people who hate and love me. Its only one life and all these add to the taste and wholesomeness of my life.

Finally, thanks to those blessed hands that made music for me this night... God bless...


A Head that Aches

I have a head that aches...
A head that fills every moment with pulsating pain and suffocation.
As moments go by, I get more and more indrawn and silent.
For its not easy to die when one is fully alive.

I have a dream that dies.
A dream that fills every moment with memories of happy yesterdays.
As moments go by, I get more and more lonely and sad.
For its not easy to forget when one is fully alive.

I have a life that grows.
A life that fills every moment with hopes and new smiles.
As moments go by, I get nearer to the end point.
For its not easy to sustain a life where dreams are dying and head is aching.

Once again, I have a head that aches...


Thursday, October 14, 2010

Random thoughts- as a friend of mine says!

I don't care! What does it matter? The world will go on... Nothing will happen!

Here, at this moment, at this very moment, someone's dreams die and fall dead instantly!

Who are you to ask? What the ----? Its none of your business! Smoke or no smoke- its my personal affair.

My child is suffering from fever. Sir, can you help me with some money? God will bless you... : Who wants god's blessings? Who? Anyone here wants god's blessings? Cummon, help this man. He needs money. Money or Mammon!

Everyone is running to the nala... What happened? Oh, its a shooting. Some actress is there. They want to see her. Some want her autograph...

What about your hubby? What did he gift you for  your birthday? Oh, he presented me with a diamond necklace.. It is nice... Wanna see?

Yesterday, my dog died. It was bitten by a snake. In fact, it saved my wife from the snake and got bitten by the snake... Don't even know what to feel. I myself would have thought twice before doing what my dog did!

Next week is election. I am planning to vote. This one is not efficient, that one is lazy, the other one is fundamentalist. But all have one thing in common- all are making money. It seems they pays income tax in 8 digits!

I am going to the church. Coming? Haha.. you are kidding. Why do you want to go there? God is omnipresent! Come with me. I am going for a walk into the woods. ..... OK. Wait Let me get ready!

You are crazy. Why do you want to study like that? Do you think knowledge is necessary for success? Look at any rich man around you! :-)

He told me: "Sajit, you are no better than that beggar. He never cleans himself!" :.... I am still reflecting!

She told me: " You are a monkey." .... Ya.. I am one. Its better to be an innocent monkey, than being a donkey who pretends to be wise.

Gotta go. There is a party. W, W and W. How can I do without? Bye...

Monday, October 04, 2010

Dating with Black Flowers

This is one born in pain. Drawn on 20.03.2009. 

Drawn while I was in Samanvaya, Kanjirapally - A time of internal trials and struggles.

A place to live in...

What else would you expect to have
While it turns dark and the evil powers come out,
Setting covers and masks away?

I have a body to protect
And a soul to sell,
Shouts the desperate me to the night.

What can else I think of now when its dark
And vision is skin deep, Oh I am afraid
To look at those fox eyes of devils.

Why am I like this, why did you craft me this way?
This sad song's accompaniment- a drop of tears,
Hidden in the dark, but shining in my soul.

Where can I go, but to the heart of the night,
Where hides the jackals of death,
Painful and slow death of bruises and scars.

I am not afraid of death, let me state.
But I am afraid of flesh mongers,
Who bring more than death into my soul.

Where can I hide, Oh night so dark and plain?
Where do I run when everywhere is equally hell?
Where do I sleep when gnashes fill the air and freezes my blood?

Its safest with you to be, you who are cold.
I choose you than those with teeth like that of lions.
You are gentle though still and cold.

And when I am terrified, I think of night,
And hold my dagger tight, with a trembling hand.
I'm only less afraid to plunge it into my heart...

Friday, October 01, 2010

Why I can't but HATE my University!


          You Know I am talking about the English and Foreign Languages University. Without denying the fact that my university is a wonderful place, I should confess that I already hate my University. My University is international in its character, it has a great tradition, and holds a great name among academics all over the country. It is also one of the best contributors to the English Language Teaching and English Linguistics fields. My University stands proud with its specialties. It has 5 Schools and over 35 departments. It teaches English and many other foreign languages and offer courses from under graduate level upto research and post doctoral studies. 


          But my great University is on its way to some god-knows-what status. It expanded tenfold in 3 years. It has a buzzing population of over 3500 as of now! Considering the small area of 35 acres, this population seems quite BIG. And you would agree with me when you read further. 

          The 3500 strong campus lives in congested spaces of the available hostels. Why are the rooms congested? Now you are wrong. Rooms are not congested. Those hostel rooms which were made for single person are inhabited by 2 people, those meant for 2 are inhabited by 3, and so on. So if there are 100 rooms, instead of accommodating a maximum of 200 people, we got over 300 people living in them. And the amazing fact is that most of the construction is still underway. People live in buildings where construction is still on. What are the problems experienced in hostels? There are 3 major problems.
1. Space
2. Food and Water
3. Electricity
          Space is already explained. 
          Food and Water: The mess which is run in collaboration with the students is not able to satisfy everyone in the hostel, because there are a handful of dividing factors among the students. Ethnicity, food habits, political and religious background, etc. keep the students in different groups which complain about every kind of food provided. And the food provided is actually worthy of complaints at least sometimes. Food is not ready on time on most days. Students are not there on time for breakfast on most days. 
          Electricity: No electricity also implies no study, no class, no water and sometimes, no food. This is not a rare phenomenon. There are times when students had to run around to find water to use toilet from early morning till evening.

          There are very talented and committed teachers in our University. There are also less talented and less committed teachers. There is nothing unnatural in it, because we live in a real world, not in an ideal one. But there are some students and teachers who wait to avoid classes, who wait to catch upon slightest opportunities to escape responsibilities, to tread the easy way! This makes me feel sick! I am tired of going to the university only to know that classes are cancelled and nothing moves on campus. I may differ from those who live on campus, because my experience has been different. 
          Whatever be the reason, when academics is compromised upon, the standard of an educational institution stoops. What gives us a stand is its scholarship and encouragement to learn and produce and think critically. Here, people are encouraged to remain under the critical level, not to think out of the box. Some teachers find it a threat! :-) 
          We spend hundreds of crores of rupees in building infrastructure. But people here forgot that only adds to the physical aspect of the University. Investment in academics is given lesser importance. Once things started moving in those lines, every group on campus got distracted from their central responsibility. Everyone here are supposed to help students learn. But some teachers forgot that, some non-teaching staff forgot that, some students forgot that. Everyone started wondering and eying fringe benefits, including me.
          Now, even if everyone desires a U-turn back into the academics, it is not possible in the near future. We have set things in motion, and according to the law of inertia, it will take time for the process to reach a stop and then to turn back.

          I hope that things will change at least by the end of this decade. There shouldn't be a time when I hesitate to say where I graduated from. Let us all try to make things fall in line- students, teachers, non-teaching staff and the bureaucracy. Long live my University!