Thursday, June 17, 2010

Spare Me...

I still cant forget the day on which I missed a train... I reached the station panting and gasping for breath carrying all my luggage, only to see the red Cross on the rear end of the train's security wagon! If only I hadn't seen that, I would have been much less disappointed than otherwise, I thought. Opportunities slip our way, just like that train - by minutes, by seconds, by a breath, by a tear, by a sigh...

Opportunities are the easiest to find - only for those who look around! I used to think of me as an underprivileged being, with no 'good' opportunities turning my way. I used to wonder how could I become a writer, when The Hindu and Frontline had rejected my articles. Since they rejected me, I stopped writing.

What I failed to realize was that opportunities were inanimate. I always imagined them to be live, energetic and living beings which go in search of talented young blood. But they never came my way. I am sure that they never came your way too.

Then one day, accidentally, I tripped over something on my way to despair. Cursing, I got up from the dusty path and looked for the wretched obstacle that blocked my way and pulled me down. But, much to my surprise, I realized that the 'obstacle' that tripped me down was an opportunity! It was an opportunity to realize that my senses weren't dead, that my intellect wasn't frozen, and that I could still look back and abuse! Haha.. what a realization!

But that point of realization re-aligned my orientations, my interests, and my habits.

I learned that the rejection of my articles by The Hindu was an opportunity to write better and research more, which I didn't realize till then. I also learned that an opportunity lies around even in the most desperate paths, mostly in disguise- I only needed to dust it to find its worth! I began to find an opportunity every moment. My eyes bumped into an opportunity every time I looked out. Yes I learned a lesson.

Now you must be wondering, "but still you are the same! How did you make use of the opportunities you found? There is no change visible in you!"

Its a reasonable doubt. I tripped, fell and realized about the abundance of  opportunities. Why haven't I changed? Why am I still the same?

I have a reasonable answer. Here it is! "I fell just Yesterday!" Give me some time to make use of them...

Hope you got the point. If not, READ THE HEADING AGAIN!!!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Nirayunna nombaram

പുലര്‍ച്ചയ്ക്ക് ചൂടും സന്ധ്യയ്ക്ക് അന്ധതയും പരക്കുന്ന ഈ യുഗത്തില്‍ എനിക്ക് പറയാനും കരയാനും ഒന്നും ഇല്ല.
ദൂരെ കേള്‍ക്കുന്ന അവ്യക്ത ശബ്ദങ്ങള്‍ക്കും അപ്പുറത്തുനിന്നും കാറ്റ് കൊണ്ടുവരുന്ന മണങ്ങള്‍... അവ മാത്രമാണ് ഇന്ന് എന്‍റെ യഥാര്‍ത്ഥ കൂട്ടുകാര്‍.
എനിക്ക് വേദന ഉണ്ട്.
എന്‍റെ വേദന നൊമ്പരങ്ങള്‍ക്കും അപ്പുറത്താണ്.
എന്‍റെ വേദന കണ്ണുനീരിനും വിഷാദത്തിനും  അപ്പുറത്താണ്.
അകലങ്ങളിലേയ്ക്കു നോക്കി ഒന്നും കാണാതെ ഇരിക്കുമ്പോഴും, ലോകം ഒരു പൊട്ടു പോലെ അകന്നു പോകുമ്പോഴും എന്‍റെ വേദന ഒരു മഞ്ഞു പുതപ്പു പോലെ എന്നെ പൊതിയുന്നു...
അറിവുകള്‍ക്ക് അപ്പുറത്ത് ആണ് എന്‍റെ വേദന...
പകലുകളെ പ്രകാശം പൊതിയും പോലെ എന്‍റെ ദിനങ്ങളെ പൊതിയുന്നത് അതാണ്...
സ്വപ്‌നങ്ങള്‍ നിറയുന്നതും അത് തന്നെ...
ഇനി എങ്ങോട്ട് എന്ന് എന്നോട് തന്നെ ചോദിക്കുമ്പോള്‍ ഒരു കൊച്ചു കുഞ്ഞിന്റെ ഭാവത്തോടെ ഞാന്‍ തിരിഞ്ഞു നടക്കും... എങ്ങോട്ടെന്നു അറിയാതെ... എന്തിനെന്നു അറിയാതെ...
ഒരുപാട് negative ആയി ആല്ലേ...???
ക്ഷമിക്കണം അറിഞ്ഞു കൊണ്ടല്ല.. ആഗ്രഹിചിട്ടല്ല...
എഴുതാന്‍ ഇരുന്നപ്പോള്‍ ഇതാണ് കൈകള്‍ എഴുതിയത്...

ഇനി ഞാന്‍ മറക്കട്ടെ...
മറക്കാന്‍ ശ്രമിക്കട്ടെ...
മരിക്കാതിരിക്കാനും...


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Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Never let you go...




I was consoling a friend... 
It was about feeling lonely when friends leave...
My words flew like a river on the need to let friends go their way to find their fortunes. I felt convinced of the fact, that seeing them do what they want, is the joy of a friend. Friends need to go to find their life..















Then I suddenly felt a lump in my throat and moisture in my eyes... 
It was also about feeling lonely when friends leave... 
I started feeling what 'I' was feeling. It was the same as my friend.
My friends are leaving to find their fortunes, on their ways...



















Slowly, when vision fades behind a pair of draining eyes, I stopped talking about the need of friends' leaving...
I just started feeling the need of my friends at my side... And the gravity of what I would be missing... The colourlessness of days... dry evenings... 
Closing my eyes, I prayed, "your will be done..."

But my heart still whispered, "I will never let you go!"


                    

Monday, May 03, 2010

End of an Era... Lost in memories...

Here comes a time, when space and dimensions would look different..
Leaves in blue and sky in green!
Leave some and comes others...

Footsteps are left around, to look and feel...
Aroma of Love noble lingers in air...
Gone is the real, come days of green and blue!

Time, whether bends or not is the same.
For those who love, life is a waiting.
And for the living, love is a lifetime...

It hurts, it heals. In the end, it laughs.
Its time- the mystic, who does the mistake.
Leave the world to itself, give us no more.

The sweet joy that swept the tongue today,
Would still linger in the mind, erasing the tongue.
Now, that's love, even when its gone!

End is a Nothing, in a world full of past.
Each moment comes with a promise of memory.
Waiting then is sweet, if not sweeter than love!

Saturday, May 01, 2010

How much it means to me...

Do you know...

No... its a stupid question. I shouldn't be asking it. But I can't help asking it too, because I am who I am...
Do you know how much it means to me?
You don't...
You don't...
You don't...

Not because you are not able to understand me, but because you understand me too well.



You don't understand  how much it means to me...

I would die for one such word... I would.
I am in tears as I write this... hope no one reads this!
In the long run, I am able to delete important sentences out of life. But I am not able to delete the unimportant ones... like the one I just typed. You don't know how much it means to me...



One word... One word could lead me to unspeakable joy. The same would lead me to unstoppable sorrow.

I am vulnerable. I am weak. I know this. Therefore I am strong. That's my consolation.


But still, you don't know how much it means to me.


Word is life. Word is love. Word is light.


I wish you knew how much it means to me...




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രണ്ടര വയസുള്ള കുഞ്ഞ്

ആൾക്കൂട്ട കൊലപാതകങ്ങൾക്ക് പേരുകേട്ട നാടാണ് നമ്മുടേത്. എന്നിൽനിന്ന് വ്യത്യസ്തനാണെങ്കിൽ നീ  കൊല്ലപ്പെടണം എന്ന ചിന്ത എന്നും ഈ നാടിന്റെ ശാപമാണ്....