Revelations

No one is reading my blog!
Crashing down on me this Sunday morning, this thought came like a thunderbolt. Sooner than I thought, I decided to do something about it- to stop writing! Oh no, how can I do it? I started writing at no one's request. How can I stop writing at someone's neglect? I found that a better argument and decided to go on writing without a reader. May be one day, when I am 'famous' (:-D) someone will read what I write these days. Let me write first. As the tsunami news from Japan strikes ones ears, eyes and heart alike leaving us all in sheer helplessness, I would like to decide this way. To write.
Then again, No one is reading my blog!
I write in two languages. One language has roots and the other, taste. I like to swim in both. When I fly in thoughts, I also swim in writing. I enjoy this act. So I write. As Prof. Ashok told us in class, a text is distanced from its reader as soon as it is written. Then it has a life of its own. It will travel in space and time beyond the expectations and dreams of the authour, gathering meanings which were never intended. If it were not so, no writing would have been tasteful and original.
Thank god, I am able to convince myself to write.
So I will write, regardless of the fact that you never cared to read what I wrote.
I write, because Life necessitates me to write. It's my vocation.

:-)
I smile, and I write.

Enikenthinaadee Sandhya?

Unsettling thoughts

A constant unrest of my soul undoes the foundations of my existence as a human being. I wonder why do I have to see myself going all this way far into the unsettling distances of uncertainty. It's been so many years now. When there is calm, I call it peace. It's only to rise again to the depths of another meaning. How many times do I have to unsettle myself? How many times do I have to annihilate my own being just to wake up again to repeat this whole futile exercise?

I am realizing more and more that the charisma of positive hope is somehow escaping the very soul of my writings. I am not able to sustain the energy which can take me over the troubled waters of agony. I stop here. I find that an easier option.

It's a literary text that usually unsettles a reader who takes it seriously. In my case, it is life that does the job. It unsettles me and throws me out of my corner. A sense of wonder fills me, while looking into the abyss of 'non-existence'. Foggy and misty. Invisible if existent, the future is hidden- like every tomorrow.

-------------------------------

Puzhamamsam!

Home again!

.

Saw a man.
He looked at me.
Unlike me, he looked with compassion.
I said, "I'm home again."

------------------------------