Gethsemani

From the year 2001, Gethsemani continues to disturb me. Every time I dare to enter the sanctuary of my own being, Gethsemani speaks from some unknown corner, intriguing me, agonizing me. It had been the pattern for as long as I could remember since I was first knocked down by self realization.

This year, Gethsemani was hidden from my sight. There were no signals from above. I was in desert. I am in desert.

And what else does Gethsemani mean? 

Why should the girl run?

What I saw 

I got out of the bus at Secunderabad station. As hunger was eating my energy, I walked fast. Traffic is heavy as usual. After trying 4 times, I crossed the road successfully.

On the other side, life was as usual busy and 'vender'ful. Just then, a rude looking guy crossed me. He had a plastic bag in hand. I observed him because of his careless manners.

There was a young girl of 20 coming towards me, after crossing the road. Our 'rude' guy was dashing at that girl, as if to hit her! She looked up and saw this man, and began running. The 'rude' guy went his way, but the girl continued to run towards the bus stop. I stopped and looked at this for a few moments.

What I thought

I am ashamed. In my country, girls have to run to be able to live with self respect. This morning's newspaper told me about a teenage girl being gang raped next to the police station and a church! I am ashamed, and left without words to feel sorry for myself and my world.

My dear friends, a society that can't respect women, will not progress. Civilization is where individuals have freedom to be themselves in mutual agreement and peace. While most of our people are not able to be themselves for fear of being 'looked at', 'attacked', 'molested', 'raped', 'teased' and 'disturbed', how can we claim to be the great civilization that we are proud of?

I am ashamed and left without words to feel sorry... because our girls are made to run...

music in the vein

After a long time, I touched my guitar again.. When heart is unable to express through tongue, my guitar comes to rescue me from obscurity.

One fine evening

One fine evening.

"Where to?"
"Wherever."
"Hmm.."
"You?"
"Not yet decided."
"That's worse."
Silence.

After a few yards of silence...
"Who are you?"
"Me?"
"There is a long way to go."
"Where to?"
Silence.

"Do you see a tree over there?"
"That's not a tree."
"I think it is a tree."
"That's not a tree."
"I can see it's shadow."
"There are a lot of mirages here."
"Are you real?"

A few yards without words...
"Don't touch me!"
"I didn't."
"You did. I didn't like it."
"I still see the tree."
"Who are you?"
"Does that matter?"

No words...
"It's really hot."
"I probably won't reach the tree."
"There is no tree."
"You are feeling hot."
"You are distracting me."
"From what?"
Silence.

Another long stretch of desert without words.
"See! The tree!"
"Thirst can be so desperate?"
"I better rush."
"Before you die.. Yes. You better rush."
"You don't want to come! It's fine with me if you don't."
"Let the mirage eat the carcass of life that doesn't see."
"Will sight ever devour a blind man?"

Silence.
This time silence was longer.
One set of footsteps disappeared.
Deserts is still out there. Mirages too.
But this time, silence will be longer.

"Ok. Welcome. Where to?"

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An epoch foretold

        It's been 3 months. I couldn't believe its just 3 months since I came to know this wonderful person. For most of the time, I was only listening to this person from a distance. But there was magic in words uttered and thoughts delivered. I was taken along the rivers of world civilizations. I was baptized in many an ocean. I saw so many of the greatest historical figures, all friends of this great person. There was creation and destruction. I went for long walks with him along the banks of Tigris and Euphrates. There brew a rumbling around the place I listened, announcing a cleansing apocalypse, and He was the prophet!

        He posed questions that toppled me from my comfort zones. He disturbed my sleep and left me crazy and schizophrenic for days on end. There were moments when I wanted to run away, because what he said was too much to digest and what he meant was too large to comprehend. But after the end of 3 months, I am more me! He foretold an epoch. But more so, he is an epoch foretold.

        Today, it came down like a streak of lightning upon me- the fact that he is leaving us in the dark and going away. It was good to be disturbed. Those sleepless nights were beautiful. Those schizophrenic days were so real. I won't be getting any more of them.





        He lived the life of an Oracle and led an army of souls- all of them mesmerized by him. Me just one of them. Thanks is not the word... He has become part of me- the thoughts and threats, hopes and hypes, dreams and dreads. I will cherish them. Blessed is he, for he helped me become more me.

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