Wars

Once upon a time, there was a couple. They lived a peaceful life in a little apartment in a big city. They had a girl. 3 year old. They didn’t have anyone else. 

They were not used to having people and things in their life. So their house was practically empty. They only had those things that made them happy. So was their hearts. They did not have many people in it. And so they lived their happy lives. 

Then one day, the happiness vanished. 

The 3 year old began to disobey them. She wanted things the parents did not want. She invited people they did not want in their lives. They felt that the girl suddenly became a stranger. They developed a distance in their hearts. The girl went further away day after day, while the couple stayed close. 

The girl one day felt that she did not have anything in common with them. She decided to move out and away. And she did that. 

The first day, the parents did not feel anything. In fact, they thought they felt happy when they reclaimed the calm and inner peace. They no more had the extra things, extra demands and extra people. 

Days passed. The couple spoke less to each other. In their individual hearts, they began to feel a void they could not fill with each other’s presence. Somehow, they felt responsible for this situation. However, in the rush to justify themselves to claim their peace, they tried to make themselves believe that it is the other who is responsible. 

Months passed. One day, the girl came to visit them. Not out of love, but to get some of her remaining things. The moment they saw the girl at the door, the couple felt a rush of strange chemicals in their veins. They froze. Their hearts bled. Their inner eyes shed tears like a fountain. But their physical bodies remained frozen till she left. 

Inside, each knew what was going on. Each withdrew into their shells. 

Years passed. The girl attended the funeral of both the parents the same month. When she was at home one last time to clear and lock it, she realised that her parents were still there inside her. They were still fighting a war over her. They were still not talking to each other. They were still feeling guilty. They were still justifying themselves. They were still blaming each other. 

The only difference was that now, both were her. The last day of the month, her obituary appeared in the same newspapers, in the same obscure corner. The war was over. Probably. ¯

The Holy Book’s Tears

She prayed kneeling in front of the holy book. There were tears in her eyes. The god who listened to her from inside the book felt completely helpless.

This was the girl’s prayer: “God, why was I not born as that aunt’s and uncle’s daughter! I want to study and earn a degree. I want to earn a job in the city and live freely. My parents will marry me off next year. I won’t be able to complete my studies. I will end up washing dishes and mopping floors just like my mother. God, please, please let me study. I want to get a better job. I want to do better and get a job.”

 

The girl is only 12 years old! Her mother comes to sweep and mop our house. The mother is only 36, and is already a grandmother. 

When she opened her moist eyes, she wondered how the holy book’s pages looked like a sobbing face - wet, mangled and unsettled!

Lose Yourself Not

It is very easy to lose oneself. If your spouse tells you everyday that you are not good enough, you will lose yourself. You will lose interest in day to day activities. You will lose interest in your hobbies. You will pay less attention to yourself. You will eventually lose interest in your purpose. You will end up in depression and despair. 

But, what if you are aware that you are different from others’ perception of you are different? Sometimes, joy comes to you when you decided to stay yourself. Sometimes, life becomes joyful when you take a moment to appreciate yourself. Sometimes a pat on your own back is necessary because no one else will have the time and energy to do tat for you. You are your own caretaker. 

Therefore, do not lose yourself. That is all you have.