moon above Hostel

Cocroach in my cupboard

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Two glimpses

 Evening Sky at Loyola Men's Hostel, Trivandrum

 Craving

Ongoing pain!

Today is a day of sorrow, since I heard the voice.

Its a long time now, but haven't forgotten its tint.

Soft like a flower, yet cold in its center and sharp on the edges.

It fell on my ears, like rain on a summer's day.

I wonder, why I'm alive! when life is just a dream.

Distance is like a tree: it grows, yet no one sees.

So the tree grew, gave shade for me to rest.

And now, I shed tears. Drops aren't there, but flows.

'Come back, you coward'- I often have to tell my mind.

For it backs off like a dog in an unseen clan.

When back, I'm at home, the real me, the monster.

For it knows someone's sad, knowing well that I'm mad.

Destiny! I never believed in it, even when my pulses proved it.
To be was my destiny? May be! because I never wanted to be!

Shadows grew too long till the black ate the white.

Till the doors of my life were unsafe in the night.

Ah! Yes, the voice. It still is loud like the evening Sun.

As always, it pricks the softest of all flesh- the heart.

When the pain recedes, I realize that voice wasn't real.

Then begins THE pain, for what's lost causes greater pain!

Conversation

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Friend 1: ഒത്തിരി അകലെ നീറുന്ന മനസും കത്തുന്ന വികാരങ്ങളും ഉള്ള ഒരു മനുഷ്യന്‍ എന്നെ കാത്ത് ഒറ്റയ്ക്ക് ഇരിക്കുന്നു എന്നാ ചിന്ത എന്നെ ജീവനോടെ കൊല്ലുന്നു... ഒരുപക്ഷേ എനിക്കുള്ള നൊമ്പരം അങ്ങും കാണും- പതിന്മടങ്ങായി... ഇത്തരം നിമിഷങ്ങളില്‍ എനിക്ക് ജീവന്ക്കളും ഇഷ്ടം ഇരുട്ടിനെയാണ്.. ഒന്നും കാണാന്‍ കഴിയാത്ത ഇരുട്ട്...

Friend 2: at least u have someone waiting...

Friend 1: :-(  And that what kills me! Grills me alive! Everything beautiful in this world makes me smile and then pause.. And then my smile turns pale.. In some unknown emotion, I turn away from what makes me sing... It stings! 

Friend 2: put that up in ur blog....

Friend 1: Impossible... She reads my blog! Wont do anything that would possibly hurt her

Friend 1: Because i have hurt enough

Friend 2: How do u manage?

Friend 1: :-) Good question. But the fact is I DON'T manage it! If I am the person you see, its her loving generosity.. Nothing else.. How can I manage? There is no management in love as far as I know.. There are no explanations, no reasons, no fumbling.. I silently accepted... Cruelly accepted...

Friend 2: Shut up!!!! You make me morose!

Friend 1: Sorry sorry sorry sorry. (NB: I had to check the meaning of morose in dictionary :-P). Hope you 'goodnighted'. So good night.