Dear sweet daughter,
Education. Education is the single-most activity that can transform you!
When I see you my daughter, standing in front of me like a blooming flower, a promise, a covenant from god, a beautiful person, I am amazed at the ways life unfolds. If there wasn't a phrase like 'god's plan', how in world would I have talked about my life? But frankly, your question has thrown me overboard. You are only 9 and you started asking 'how did you meet my mom!' For the background in which I grew up, such a question is a shocker. I want to shout 'SHUT UP'. But after all, it is you who are asking. And apart from you and your mom, I haven't got anything in this world. So I should answer you in patience. You got the right to know my sweetie.
When I desired to enroll for an undergraduate programme in Physics in 2003, I didn't imagine that it would later transform my life. I was naive. Innocent and uneducated in the ways of the world. Then comes a Bachelor's Degree in Physics. Boom- I get married to a classmate. The man has found his woman and the woman, her man. You see, that's why I said- education can transform your life.
Its been so many years now, my sweetie. But, memory will not fail your mom and me when it comes to our days in college. Those were days! Days! We were not in love- now you have to note this point. We were not in love. We were friends. We both used to write poems, reflections and stories. To make the long story short, that's how it happened!
I know it doesn't satisfy your curiosity. I get a bachelor's degree, I lost my bachelorhood. It wasn't that easy. You see, we didn't fall in love and get injured. We slipped into love smoothly. There was no injury. But when we reached the bottom of that pit, we got injured. Inevitable. Now, if you are planning to fall in love and get married to your lover, you need to think of all odds. Once decided, you have to stick to your decision. Once you commit you have to remain committed. Like your mom and me. That's how it should be, because what you look for in a relationship is not the outer glitter and glamour, but the inner qualities. Peace, love, understanding, forgiveness, silence, capacity to endure hard times, a strong hand to support... the list is endless but important.
Like I said, we didn't fall, but slip into love. I mean, it wasn't instant. It took ten years to evolve into what you see. Like I told you in the beginning, phrases like 'god's plan' can be of help here. What else could explain this? My greed? Her selfishness? Those would have separated us. I would have been more successful and famous without your mom. She would have been richer and better employed without me. But you see, we were not looking for money, status or fame. We were looking inside each other. We found that there was genuine need for each other in each others' heart. So we decided to slip. We decided. This part is important because here, my homily on love begins. 'Love is a decision.' End of the homily.
At no stage in our relationship so far (during these 22 years of our togetherness), were we led astray from the path of love. Of course you see us fighting over many things. They are like cashew nuts in the cake your mom makes. They add flavour to the cake. They are sweet distractions. Our focus never was dim. We knew that our life was for you and your future, 4 years before your birth. We decided to live for you before you were even intellectually conceived! That my daughter, is called love. Again, love is a decision you stick to, even through tough times.
For us, the beginnings were difficult. We had no common religion. You know your mom visits temples and I visit churches. Everyone told us that when you come, it would be unjust to you to leave you in the middle. Everyone wanted to define your religion before you were born. But we were firm. Probably selfish about ourselves and you. Rebellious even. In our opinion, religion is an expression of one's faith from within. If someone is forced to accept a religion, there would be no expression. Moreover, conformity to social 'ordinariness' doesn't guarantee right action (see, I haven't forgotten my Philosophy lessons!). Therefore, we both decided to continue in our own faiths. We decided to give you freedom in choosing your faith too. This is very unconventional. People criticized us for what we did. But we believed in what we did. That is was right. You can judge us and decide if we are right or wrong. That's completely upto you. But know that love is a decision and we have decided to love you before you were born. You are the best gift that descended on the earth ever.
Why? Life has to go on. I wasn't to continue on my path, nor was your mom on hers. Life had to take its turns. It had to transform us. Certain decisions of ours transformed us. Then you happened. We are your parents. Thats what happened to us because we slipped. Into love.
There was a plan. God's plan. That's why I met your mom so that you could be born.
My sweetie, you will learn more about life and love as days go by. Your mom and I pray that there be a shade of cool love over you always. For that your mom and I will contribute our lives. Entire lives.
Love,
Dad.
Christmas, 2025.
Education. Education is the single-most activity that can transform you!
When I see you my daughter, standing in front of me like a blooming flower, a promise, a covenant from god, a beautiful person, I am amazed at the ways life unfolds. If there wasn't a phrase like 'god's plan', how in world would I have talked about my life? But frankly, your question has thrown me overboard. You are only 9 and you started asking 'how did you meet my mom!' For the background in which I grew up, such a question is a shocker. I want to shout 'SHUT UP'. But after all, it is you who are asking. And apart from you and your mom, I haven't got anything in this world. So I should answer you in patience. You got the right to know my sweetie.
When I desired to enroll for an undergraduate programme in Physics in 2003, I didn't imagine that it would later transform my life. I was naive. Innocent and uneducated in the ways of the world. Then comes a Bachelor's Degree in Physics. Boom- I get married to a classmate. The man has found his woman and the woman, her man. You see, that's why I said- education can transform your life.
Its been so many years now, my sweetie. But, memory will not fail your mom and me when it comes to our days in college. Those were days! Days! We were not in love- now you have to note this point. We were not in love. We were friends. We both used to write poems, reflections and stories. To make the long story short, that's how it happened!
I know it doesn't satisfy your curiosity. I get a bachelor's degree, I lost my bachelorhood. It wasn't that easy. You see, we didn't fall in love and get injured. We slipped into love smoothly. There was no injury. But when we reached the bottom of that pit, we got injured. Inevitable. Now, if you are planning to fall in love and get married to your lover, you need to think of all odds. Once decided, you have to stick to your decision. Once you commit you have to remain committed. Like your mom and me. That's how it should be, because what you look for in a relationship is not the outer glitter and glamour, but the inner qualities. Peace, love, understanding, forgiveness, silence, capacity to endure hard times, a strong hand to support... the list is endless but important.
Like I said, we didn't fall, but slip into love. I mean, it wasn't instant. It took ten years to evolve into what you see. Like I told you in the beginning, phrases like 'god's plan' can be of help here. What else could explain this? My greed? Her selfishness? Those would have separated us. I would have been more successful and famous without your mom. She would have been richer and better employed without me. But you see, we were not looking for money, status or fame. We were looking inside each other. We found that there was genuine need for each other in each others' heart. So we decided to slip. We decided. This part is important because here, my homily on love begins. 'Love is a decision.' End of the homily.
At no stage in our relationship so far (during these 22 years of our togetherness), were we led astray from the path of love. Of course you see us fighting over many things. They are like cashew nuts in the cake your mom makes. They add flavour to the cake. They are sweet distractions. Our focus never was dim. We knew that our life was for you and your future, 4 years before your birth. We decided to live for you before you were even intellectually conceived! That my daughter, is called love. Again, love is a decision you stick to, even through tough times.
For us, the beginnings were difficult. We had no common religion. You know your mom visits temples and I visit churches. Everyone told us that when you come, it would be unjust to you to leave you in the middle. Everyone wanted to define your religion before you were born. But we were firm. Probably selfish about ourselves and you. Rebellious even. In our opinion, religion is an expression of one's faith from within. If someone is forced to accept a religion, there would be no expression. Moreover, conformity to social 'ordinariness' doesn't guarantee right action (see, I haven't forgotten my Philosophy lessons!). Therefore, we both decided to continue in our own faiths. We decided to give you freedom in choosing your faith too. This is very unconventional. People criticized us for what we did. But we believed in what we did. That is was right. You can judge us and decide if we are right or wrong. That's completely upto you. But know that love is a decision and we have decided to love you before you were born. You are the best gift that descended on the earth ever.
Why? Life has to go on. I wasn't to continue on my path, nor was your mom on hers. Life had to take its turns. It had to transform us. Certain decisions of ours transformed us. Then you happened. We are your parents. Thats what happened to us because we slipped. Into love.
There was a plan. God's plan. That's why I met your mom so that you could be born.
My sweetie, you will learn more about life and love as days go by. Your mom and I pray that there be a shade of cool love over you always. For that your mom and I will contribute our lives. Entire lives.
Love,
Dad.
Christmas, 2025.
