Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Lessons for Life

Days have their magic on men (sorry for speaking only of 'men'). The spell begins with love. Unassuming as summer rain, the spell of love is cast on the one waiting unawares.
Until the day comes when the man recons that there is no other go than to realize what has happened, the spell goes unnoticed. Unnoticed because the man wanted it to be unnoticed. There were days when the ordeals of life shook him like a pine in whirlwind. Shaken, but not fallen, he refused to believe what had befallen him. There were days when he was down with feelings of uncertainty and illusions of completion. Those were days of purgatory when he learned that there is a world beyond the present one and there is a way beneath the present. Reckoning!
The magic spell has its own secret ways. Young men want to study and achieve. The spell wants them to realize what life means and what life has to offer. There are umpteen ways in which such men can go on to say how they meant things to be and how life taught how things actually were. Strange enough, until the day of reckoning, none of the men realize that there is a difference between what is thought and what actually is.
Now that the day is come upon me, let me think back and see if there are a few things I can manage to find. The first thing is that I was foolish! You don’t have to smile reading this! My maturity was younger to my age. Probably I had missed a few important lessons of life. Or probably my kind had to wait a bit longer to get to what we call maturity- born a bit early!
The second thing is that I was not aware of what was happening to me. If my life had a rewind button, I could have managed and manipulated things better, because now I can see better.
Life is like a glass pane. It has thickness to hinder trespassing. But is not opaque enough to stop stares and gazes to penetrate to its heart. It breaks when hit, melts when warmed and gets scratches when tossed around. But it never disappears. It will stay around either as a pain or as an asset.  Life is to be lived whether you love it or not. Lesson #1.
What life has taught me in this little time called life can be summarized as LOVE. Love is the only reality that keeps the world going. All the negativities that we see around us are only negations of or absence of love. Love keeps the world going. Whether it is love active or love forgotten or love impractical or love disappointed or love cheated or love pretended, love is the one feeling that makes the world turn around.  LOVE. Lesson #2.
Learning and scoring marks are two different entities. I learned a lot of things in the school of love. But I failed in its test- quite miserably. But I don’t regret. I was able to love, and am able to love without limits even love. Love without action is useless they say. My love seems useless. But I know that it is not. Days begin by love, go on in love and end in love. There is not a single day when I don’t remember with gratitude, the great wonders done to me by loved ones. Love is not to be measured, but lived. Lesson #3.
I have wept a lot. I am not ashamed to say this. A lot of people are. I am not. Weeping is cleansing of the soul. Tears come from the heart and they wash away all the malice within. I have wept on people, love, friends. When I feel that I am near god, I weep. And those drops of tears give me consolation. When I am with my friends who love me, I weep within because I feel I am near god. If god is not able to show in my friends, that great power won’t be shown anywhere in anyone. All through my life, I have seen god in those who love me and whom I love. See god in friends- you will never be desolate. Lesson #4.
More lessons to be added as I learn them!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Gethsemani

From the year 2001, Gethsemani continues to disturb me. Every time I dare to enter the sanctuary of my own being, Gethsemani speaks from some unknown corner, intriguing me, agonizing me. It had been the pattern for as long as I could remember since I was first knocked down by self realization.

This year, Gethsemani was hidden from my sight. There were no signals from above. I was in desert. I am in desert.

And what else does Gethsemani mean? 

Monday, April 18, 2011

Why should the girl run?

What I saw 
I got out of the bus at Secunderabad station. As hunger was eating my energy, I walked fast. Traffic is heavy as usual. After trying 4 times, I crossed the road successfully.

On the other side, life was as usual busy and 'vender'ful. Just then, a rude looking guy crossed me. He had a plastic bag in hand. I observed him because of his careless manners.

There was a young girl of 20 coming towards me, after crossing the road. Our 'rude' guy was dashing at that girl, as if to hit her! She looked up and saw this man, and began running. The 'rude' guy went his way, but the girl continued to run towards the bus stop. I stopped and looked at this for a few moments.

What I thought
I am ashamed. In my country, girls have to run to be able to live with self respect. This morning's newspaper told me about a teenage girl being gang raped next to the police station and a church! I am ashamed, and left without words to feel sorry for myself and my world.

My dear friends, a society that can't respect women, will not progress. Civilization is where individuals have freedom to be themselves in mutual agreement and peace. While most of our people are not able to be themselves for fear of being 'looked at', 'attacked', 'molested', 'raped', 'teased' and 'disturbed', how can we claim to be the great civilization that we are proud of?

I am ashamed and left without words to feel sorry... because our girls are made to run...

Saturday, April 16, 2011

music in the vein

After a long time, I touched my guitar again.. When heart is unable to express through tongue, my guitar comes to rescue me from obscurity.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

One fine evening

One fine evening.

"Where to?"
"Wherever."
"Hmm.."
"You?"
"Not yet decided."
"That's worse."
Silence.

After a few yards of silence...
"Who are you?"
"Me?"
"There is a long way to go."
"Where to?"
Silence.

"Do you see a tree over there?"
"That's not a tree."
"I think it is a tree."
"That's not a tree."
"I can see it's shadow."
"There are a lot of mirages here."
"Are you real?"

A few yards without words...
"Don't touch me!"
"I didn't."
"You did. I didn't like it."
"I still see the tree."
"Who are you?"
"Does that matter?"

No words...
"It's really hot."
"I probably won't reach the tree."
"There is no tree."
"You are feeling hot."
"You are distracting me."
"From what?"
Silence.

Another long stretch of desert without words.
"See! The tree!"
"Thirst can be so desperate?"
"I better rush."
"Before you die.. Yes. You better rush."
"You don't want to come! It's fine with me if you don't."
"Let the mirage eat the carcass of life that doesn't see."
"Will sight ever devour a blind man?"

Silence.
This time silence was longer.
One set of footsteps disappeared.
Deserts is still out there. Mirages too.
But this time, silence will be longer.

"Ok. Welcome. Where to?"


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