Christmas shots

Ellipsis

...
Three dots...
They are my favourites...
Whenever I find words insufficient to express my woes, I call upon three dots...
Recently, One of my friends asked me what is the name of these three dots...
I didn't know!
So I wondered, Blinked and gaped!
Then came the answer from the source of the question itself.
It's ELLIPSIS.
Hmmm...
Nice name. Ellipsis. The name sounds exactly like three dots. Mysterious and unfamiliar, yet familiar and so clear...
After that incident, whenever I used three dots, I remembered that I knew those three dots- ellipsis.
I knew them by name. Ellipsis.
I owe a lot to them, because they helped me to express, better than I could with words. They saved my efforts, my dignity and my taste. I owe a lot to them.
Ellipsis. I love it.Unity in diversity. Three, yet one in structure and use. I love it.
Let me then end this little note with an ellipsis- because, I doubt whether I said enough about 'Ellipsis-es'...
...

Aravumaadukal!

മടുത്തിരിക്കുന്നു
ജീവിതത്തില്‍ നേടിയെടുത്തതും സ്വതേ ഉണ്ടായതുമായ ഉറപ്പുകളുടെ മുകളില്‍ ജീവിച്ചു മടുത്തിരിക്കുന്നു.
മറുപുരമില്ലാത്ത തീരുമാനങ്ങള്‍ ആയിരുന്നു ജീവിതം മുഴുവന്‍...... .
അവയെ വെറുത്തു തുടങ്ങിയിട്ട് കാലം ഏറെയായി.
നേരെതിരുകളെ വേലി കെട്ടി തിരിക്കുന്ന മനസ്സിനും അതിന്റെ ധാര്‍ഷ്ട്യം കലര്‍ന്ന നിര്‍ബന്ധ ബുദ്ധിയും കൂടി ഇല്ലാതാക്കിയത് ഒരു പക്ഷെ മനോഹരമാകെണ്ടിയിരുന്ന വലിയ ഒരു സ്വന്പമാണ്.
ഈ സമൂഹവും അതിന്റെ തൊങ്ങല്‍ വച്ച കാപട്യവും കുടുംബ ബന്ധങ്ങളുടെ ശിധിലവും മുഖം മൂടി വച്ചതുമായ നാടകങ്ങളും മടുത്തിരിക്കുന്നു.
പല നേരങ്ങളിലും ഒന്നിലും ശ്രദ്ധ വയ്ക്കാന്‍ വയ്യാത്ത വണ്ണം മനസ്സിനെ കഷണങ്ങളാക്കി തകര്‍ക്കാന്‍ ഈ ചിന്തകള്‍ക്ക് കഴിയുന്നു. ഒരു ചിന്ത കുരിചിടാണോ ഒരു വാക്ക് ധ്യാനിക്കണോ, ഏകാന്തത തേടാനോ നേടാനോ അനുവദിക്കാത്ത വണ്ണം എന്തിലോയ്ക്കോ മനസ്സ് വലിചിഴയ്ക്കപെടുന്നു, തകര്‍തെരിയപ്പെടുന്നു.
നല്ലതെതെന്നു തിരിച്ചറിയാന്‍ എന്തുകൊണ്ട് സാധികുന്നില്ല? തിരിച്ചറിഞ്ഞാലും സംശയങ്ങളുടെ കൂരമ്പുകള്‍ കൊണ്ട് തിരിച്ചറിവുകള്‍ അകാല മൃത്യു പ്രാപിക്കുന്നു. ചിലവ രക്ഷപ്പെടുന്നെങ്കിലും തീരുമാനങ്ങളുടെ ധൃതരാഷ്ട്ര ആളിങ്ങനങ്ങളെ അതിജീവിക്കാന്‍ അവയ്ക്ക് കഴിയില്ല.
ആടുജീവിതങ്ങള്‍.!!!

അരുക്കപ്പെടാന്‍ വേണ്ടി കിട്ടുന്ന തീറ്റയ്ക്ക് വേണ്ടി വാസനകളെയും ത്രുഷ്ണകളെയും ബലി നല്‍കേണ്ടി വരുന്നവര്‍
അറവുമാടുകള്‍

After all...

It was a cold evening.
The moon high up in the sky was trying to peep out of its cloudy mask.
All was well except the occasional distant rumbling of thunder and faint fireworks.
Raju got up from his chair and walked to the window to breathe some fresh air. Standing at the window, he looked at the vast expanse of dark green fields spread over the edges of his vision.
As the moon came out, the fields shone in white silver light. Winds inspired plants to dance to some strange divine song.
He wondered if she would come that day. He wanted to see her once. She told him, she would come in the evening and leave the next morning for work. He was so happy hearing that. By all means, he wanted to see her.
The moon was completely out by then. He could see clouds receding into the corners of the sky. Good omen- thought he. Even the moon is welcoming her tonight... He smiled to himself.

*****

On the ground floor, Lina was preparing dinner for Raju. She knew that if she was late, he wouldn't eat. He had a menu that was unchangeable. She had learned long back to accept such idiosyncrasies of her husband. More over, she loved him more than her own very life.
She arranged everything on a tray and checked everything one final time before picking it up. No mistakes.
As she climbed the steps, she heard him murmuring something. She knew what it was. He was cursing someone or something. He would be angry because the one he expected didn't come.
His room  was locked from outside- like most mentally sick men's. She opened the room, entered and placed the tray on the table. He looked back at her. He looked furious. He shouted some gibberish at her and asked her to get away. He wanted privacy when his special guest- his girl- came.
She came out and locked the door from outside. While wiping her eyes, she consoled herself. He might be a mad man for everyone, not for me. She knew that her mad husband was waiting for none other than herself. She knew how much he loved her.
'After all, I am the one who is to come," said Lina to herself, while washing dishes.

Lead Kindly Light

What am I?
Wish I had an answer for that question. If at all there is an answer, I wouldn't be sure if I want to know it. What do you say dear reader? Do you wish to know what you are?
Like you, I too have faced this question umpteen times during this short life. Even now, I am forced to probe for an answer.
Like you, I always ended up with no answer.
Is it frustrating? What do you think?
For me, it is very unsettling. It throws me upside down into the dark abyss of doubt and despair. Is it your experience too?
And when you turn to the altar to pray, you are greeted with serene silence. When you need an answer SOS, someone mocks you with divine silence. Is it consoling?

I stand before you, like a child.
Lead, Kindly Light...