തിരിച്ചു വരവ്

Moment by moment

Moment by moment, I realize your presence in this dry desert.

Springing from this simmering heat, my pains flower, into tears of loss.

Down the alleys of loneliness, I travel alone, alone do I travel.

Come, and embrace me, oh, cold hands of death.

Come and take me from these feelings of love-lessness.

Awaken from this state of silent chaos, what do I do to keep life?

Round and round gathers moss, on the peach coloured wounds of my heart.

Just as the love of a bird flies above its head, my love flies miles away.

How could I be a creature still living?

How could I be a human still living?

You left a space in my life

So vast none could fill it at all!

Come back be my friend, come back.

Can I have you as mine and mine alone?

Times fly away, not much is left.

Life ebbs away let us make much of it.

Can we? No, we can’t. But can’t we?

Do I love you to have you?

There are sighs to answer these questions.

There are nights to answer in tears.

Oh! Soul, weep then, shed your last drop.

Be dry, and dark. Die in obscurity.

Love

I don’t know how life would feel about the emptiness of my own soul. When life began like a stream gushing down the mountains of sorrows, it looked wonderful and there seemed no limits or boundaries that the little stream could not surrender. Then, life was a joy and smile was the food of every minute. To be the one who is happy was the call that we received....

 

But today, life has changed a lot. Sweetness is not to be found anywhere around the shelf of self. There, one could see a stream of lean water, flowing with much force towards a pond of little water. The thirst of the pond remains an everlasting desire, or dream that fills the emptiness of the stream with further nothingness. This is life today.

 

Everything has changed. Changed a lot.

There are good people in this world. These people whom we encounter become our consolation and our helping hand in times of difficulty. I love them. I have a lot of them in my life.

 

My friend, you are my friend for ever. Ever in my life would I starve for love, because you have filled my life with love. Overwhelming experiences of love and care project themselves as the zenith of union and companionship. I love those days. I love those moments. I love you.

 

Memory is the gift that god gave humans in order that he or she lives in the right path. When dear ones desert us, when dear ones are not near enough in space, we resort to memories in order to be able to live a life of sweetness and enthusiasm. My friend, you are not near me in space. But you cannot be nearer to me than now.

 

Today, I was thinking of you my dear friend. As usual, my eyes got wet and there was a lump in my throat. Raising my eyes to the almighty, once again I prayed that there may be roses in your path and thorns in mine.

 

But the speciality of today is that I began to thank god for the pain I have. All these days, I used to curse my pains and pray for your well being. But today, I prayed for you and thanked god for all my pains. I offered all my pains for your sake, that you may be safe and well in heart and body. As I have told you earlier, my only prayer is that you be well.

 

Again, I started thinking of future as we or I envisage. You and yours in a small nest of yours and me on my road. I thought I would not come your way again. It’s really painful. How could I ever think of getting out of you? But as we know very well, it’s good for both of us to remain away from each other. Don’t you think so? I do. I can’t live a single moment without your memories. But I cant stop thinking of and desiring for your goodness. I am selfish. But I am selfish for you friend. I love you. 

Still here

Yes I am still here...
Very much alive...
He is silent!
Very much silent...

Life goes on...
Like a stream that searches for meaning...
Still alive...
Yet...

If you see me,
Pray for me and for those I live for...
For they are my life...
They are what i die for...

Pain

Dear friend,

You are my friend..

By all means, I want to remain so..

But the world is so much like a Jealous devil..

Love you like a boy loves his old pencil..

Loves it so much...

But ready to give it away to the one who he believes could take care of it well...

Life is a struggle..

Love is pain..

Heart is heavy whenever i think of you..

And I think of you always...

Death would have been better for me..

I want to escape into obscurity..

Not from you dear..

But from myself...

Dont know why cant I make up my mind!

Cant think of a change...

I tried forcing me..

I cant, I failed..

Love is pain..

Death is better than life in this scorching heat of separation..

Who shall I blame?

Me and only me..

Love...

NISSANGATHA

maricha jeevitham