Pity

It was genuine. I felt bad for those thin and black pair of legs. For the last ten days or so, they were relentlessly serving their master without a word of complaint. As I poured water over them, they looked pale and tired. Pity- that’s what I felt at that point of time. ‘I should give them a good wash’ I told myself.

I took the soap and applied on them. Still they looked thin and pale. I apologized to them for not taking care of them and neglecting their welfare. After all, I still need their service for at least another three years. While applying soap, the form embraced them and cleaned them. I was happy that finally they were getting back to their original state.

I took them out of the water and rinsed again in fresh water. Wow! Now they look clean and better. I patted them in joy and appreciated their service. Once again I apologized for not giving them a wash for the last ten days due to my being sick and tired. It looked as if they understood. They were brighter now.

Then I squeezed them and put them out on the line to dry. This is the first time I felt pity for my clothes. My poor pair of pants. Ten days at a stretch without a wash would have been real trouble for them.

Rebuttal

I dreamt the face that takes my sleep away.

Last night was more like battle of worlds- real and unreal.

Fighting, I woke up with woes of unreal,

Wondering which is real and where is the unreal.



Days looked awkward without the so called unreal.

For there was no pigment in veins and in dreams.

Tasteless, moments dragged into eterninty,

Till the day I realized real was not that real.



I ran into by bed to dream, to get into the 'real' real.

Closing my eyes, I prayed to open the gates fast.

There goes light, welcome to the world of real,

A triumphant me went into the unknown.



The face was there alive and glad,

Sending shivers into my spine.

I went near and near, only to find the face stranger.

But now I believe in my fate, the one dictated by my faith.



I am staying. i told my spirit.

I was dying till I reached here, now I live here till I die.

The hand came towards me, like in a dance.

Here I go, into the trance. Good bye unreal...

for you, my little one...

For you my little one, there always is a little prayer whispered through the threads of my life.


Love my child, is beyond reason. There is nothing like being loved.

As you grow in what life teaches you, my heart rejoices seeing your wonder and excitement.

But in the heart of my spirit, I reserve an apprehension for myself, for I want to be sure that you smile till the end.

Take my hand, when you feel like stumbling but I will take you when you stumble.

Tremble and fear not when beasts roar at you, I will face them with you- won’t let you alone.

When you are grown, on your own, when I retrieve into memories, my shadow will follow you in yours.

Till when days dawn and nights fall there would be love, there would be us.

And when I am gone from memories, wiped out, listen to evening rains and morning breeze to hear my prayer for you.

You my child are dear for me, like my breath, like my favourite colour and musical note- ever lasting.

Won’t let you alone.

Love,

Me

Lessons for Life

Days have their magic on men (sorry for speaking only of 'men'). The spell begins with love. Unassuming as summer rain, the spell of love is cast on the one waiting unawares.

Until the day comes when the man recons that there is no other go than to realize what has happened, the spell goes unnoticed. Unnoticed because the man wanted it to be unnoticed. There were days when the ordeals of life shook him like a pine in whirlwind. Shaken, but not fallen, he refused to believe what had befallen him. There were days when he was down with feelings of uncertainty and illusions of completion. Those were days of purgatory when he learned that there is a world beyond the present one and there is a way beneath the present. Reckoning!

The magic spell has its own secret ways. Young men want to study and achieve. The spell wants them to realize what life means and what life has to offer. There are umpteen ways in which such men can go on to say how they meant things to be and how life taught how things actually were. Strange enough, until the day of reckoning, none of the men realize that there is a difference between what is thought and what actually is.

Now that the day is come upon me, let me think back and see if there are a few things I can manage to find. The first thing is that I was foolish! You don’t have to smile reading this! My maturity was younger to my age. Probably I had missed a few important lessons of life. Or probably my kind had to wait a bit longer to get to what we call maturity- born a bit early!

The second thing is that I was not aware of what was happening to me. If my life had a rewind button, I could have managed and manipulated things better, because now I can see better.

Life is like a glass pane. It has thickness to hinder trespassing. But is not opaque enough to stop stares and gazes to penetrate to its heart. It breaks when hit, melts when warmed and gets scratches when tossed around. But it never disappears. It will stay around either as a pain or as an asset.  Life is to be lived whether you love it or not. Lesson #1.

What life has taught me in this little time called life can be summarized as LOVE. Love is the only reality that keeps the world going. All the negativities that we see around us are only negations of or absence of love. Love keeps the world going. Whether it is love active or love forgotten or love impractical or love disappointed or love cheated or love pretended, love is the one feeling that makes the world turn around.  LOVE. Lesson #2.

Learning and scoring marks are two different entities. I learned a lot of things in the school of love. But I failed in its test- quite miserably. But I don’t regret. I was able to love, and am able to love without limits even love. Love without action is useless they say. My love seems useless. But I know that it is not. Days begin by love, go on in love and end in love. There is not a single day when I don’t remember with gratitude, the great wonders done to me by loved ones. Love is not to be measured, but lived. Lesson #3.

I have wept a lot. I am not ashamed to say this. A lot of people are. I am not. Weeping is cleansing of the soul. Tears come from the heart and they wash away all the malice within. I have wept on people, love, friends. When I feel that I am near god, I weep. And those drops of tears give me consolation. When I am with my friends who love me, I weep within because I feel I am near god. If god is not able to show in my friends, that great power won’t be shown anywhere in anyone. All through my life, I have seen god in those who love me and whom I love. See god in friends- you will never be desolate. Lesson #4.

More lessons to be added as I learn them!

Gethsemani

From the year 2001, Gethsemani continues to disturb me. Every time I dare to enter the sanctuary of my own being, Gethsemani speaks from some unknown corner, intriguing me, agonizing me. It had been the pattern for as long as I could remember since I was first knocked down by self realization.

This year, Gethsemani was hidden from my sight. There were no signals from above. I was in desert. I am in desert.

And what else does Gethsemani mean?