A place to live in...

What else would you expect to have
While it turns dark and the evil powers come out,
Setting covers and masks away?

I have a body to protect
And a soul to sell,
Shouts the desperate me to the night.

What can else I think of now when its dark
And vision is skin deep, Oh I am afraid
To look at those fox eyes of devils.

Why am I like this, why did you craft me this way?
This sad song's accompaniment- a drop of tears,
Hidden in the dark, but shining in my soul.

Where can I go, but to the heart of the night,
Where hides the jackals of death,
Painful and slow death of bruises and scars.

I am not afraid of death, let me state.
But I am afraid of flesh mongers,
Who bring more than death into my soul.

Where can I hide, Oh night so dark and plain?
Where do I run when everywhere is equally hell?
Where do I sleep when gnashes fill the air and freezes my blood?

Its safest with you to be, you who are cold.
I choose you than those with teeth like that of lions.
You are gentle though still and cold.

And when I am terrified, I think of night,
And hold my dagger tight, with a trembling hand.
I'm only less afraid to plunge it into my heart...

Why I can't but HATE my University!

...............................

          You Know I am talking about the English and Foreign Languages University. Without denying the fact that my university is a wonderful place, I should confess that I already hate my University. My University is international in its character, it has a great tradition, and holds a great name among academics all over the country. It is also one of the best contributors to the English Language Teaching and English Linguistics fields. My University stands proud with its specialties. It has 5 Schools and over 35 departments. It teaches English and many other foreign languages and offer courses from under graduate level upto research and post doctoral studies. 

BUT

          But my great University is on its way to some god-knows-what status. It expanded tenfold in 3 years. It has a buzzing population of over 3500 as of now! Considering the small area of 35 acres, this population seems quite BIG. And you would agree with me when you read further. 

Hostels

          The 3500 strong campus lives in congested spaces of the available hostels. Why are the rooms congested? Now you are wrong. Rooms are not congested. Those hostel rooms which were made for single person are inhabited by 2 people, those meant for 2 are inhabited by 3, and so on. So if there are 100 rooms, instead of accommodating a maximum of 200 people, we got over 300 people living in them. And the amazing fact is that most of the construction is still underway. People live in buildings where construction is still on. What are the problems experienced in hostels? There are 3 major problems.

1. Space

2. Food and Water

3. Electricity

          Space is already explained. 

          Food and Water: The mess which is run in collaboration with the students is not able to satisfy everyone in the hostel, because there are a handful of dividing factors among the students. Ethnicity, food habits, political and religious background, etc. keep the students in different groups which complain about every kind of food provided. And the food provided is actually worthy of complaints at least sometimes. Food is not ready on time on most days. Students are not there on time for breakfast on most days. 

          Electricity: No electricity also implies no study, no class, no water and sometimes, no food. This is not a rare phenomenon. There are times when students had to run around to find water to use toilet from early morning till evening.

Academics

          There are very talented and committed teachers in our University. There are also less talented and less committed teachers. There is nothing unnatural in it, because we live in a real world, not in an ideal one. But there are some students and teachers who wait to avoid classes, who wait to catch upon slightest opportunities to escape responsibilities, to tread the easy way! This makes me feel sick! I am tired of going to the university only to know that classes are cancelled and nothing moves on campus. I may differ from those who live on campus, because my experience has been different. 

          Whatever be the reason, when academics is compromised upon, the standard of an educational institution stoops. What gives us a stand is its scholarship and encouragement to learn and produce and think critically. Here, people are encouraged to remain under the critical level, not to think out of the box. Some teachers find it a threat! :-) 

          We spend hundreds of crores of rupees in building infrastructure. But people here forgot that only adds to the physical aspect of the University. Investment in academics is given lesser importance. Once things started moving in those lines, every group on campus got distracted from their central responsibility. Everyone here are supposed to help students learn. But some teachers forgot that, some non-teaching staff forgot that, some students forgot that. Everyone started wondering and eying fringe benefits, including me.

          Now, even if everyone desires a U-turn back into the academics, it is not possible in the near future. We have set things in motion, and according to the law of inertia, it will take time for the process to reach a stop and then to turn back.

Conclusion

          I hope that things will change at least by the end of this decade. There shouldn't be a time when I hesitate to say where I graduated from. Let us all try to make things fall in line- students, teachers, non-teaching staff and the bureaucracy. Long live my University!

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What is life after all???

A simple question is usually the answer-less one..
A simple sigh is usually the most relieving expression..
That's exactly why I don't understand life..

What is most reachable is the farthermost at times.
What is at hand is often unreachable.
That's exactly why I don't understand life..

I tremble to speak that simple word that could change my life.
I fear little children who can speak truth without inhibition.
That's exactly why I don't understand life.

What is life after all?
Moment after moments of doubt and fear?
No, it got to be more positive than the most negative.

That's again exactly why I don't understand life!

Kozhiyunna Mudiyizhakal

കൊഴിയുന്ന മുടിയിഴകള്‍ 

അടരുന്ന ചുമരിലെ പാണ്ടുകള്‍ നോക്കി നോക്കി സമയം പോയതറിഞ്ഞില്ല.

ദൂരെ നിന്നും കറുത്ത മഴ മേഘങ്ങള്‍ ഓടി വരുന്നുണ്ട്.

അങ്ങകലെ കിഴക്കേ മലനിരകള്‍ക്കപ്പുറത്തുനിന്നും ശബ്ദം കേള്‍ക്കാം.

ആകാശം ഇരുണ്ടു, അരങ്ങ് ഒരുങ്ങി, ഇനി കഥാപാത്രങ്ങള്‍.

1 - ചുമര്. തേപ്പ് അടര്‍ന്നു തുടങ്ങിയിട്ട് കാലങ്ങള്‍ ആയി. 

ചായം പൂശാത്തതുകൊണ്ട് നിറം മങ്ങിയിട്ടില്ല. 

അങ്ങിങ്ങായി പാണ്ടുകള്‍ കാണാം- തേപ്പടര്‍ന്ന ഓട്ടകള്‍.

ഒരുപക്ഷേ നിശ്വാസങ്ങള്‍ ഏറ്റുവാങ്ങിയ പാടുകളും!

2 - സമയം. കാലം എന്ന് മറ്റൊരു പേര്. അജ്ഞാതന്‍.

രൂപംഇല്ലാത്തതിനാല്‍ ആരും കണ്ടിട്ടില്ല. എങ്കിലും

അവന്‍റെ പ്രഹരം ഏറ്റുവാങ്ങാത്ത ആരും ഇല്ല.

ഒരു സംശയം. കാലം വരികയാണോ, അതോ പോകയാണോ?

3 - മേഘങ്ങള്‍. അവയ്ക്ക് നിറം മാറാന്‍ അറിയാം.

ചിലപ്പോള്‍ സ്വഭാവവും- ഞാന്‍ കണ്ടിട്ടുണ്ട്. 

വെളുത്തു വെളുത്തു വന്നിട്ട് കറുത്ത് കറുത്ത് പെയ്യും. 

ശ്വാസം മുട്ടിക്കും. ചെകുത്താന്റെ സ്വഭാവം. 

4 - ഇരുട്ട്. നിശബ്ദം നിഷ്കരുണം നിരാധാരം.

നിറങ്ങളില്ല, മണങ്ങളില്ല, രുചിഭേദങ്ങളില്ല.

ഭാവം ശാന്തം, സ്വഭാവമജ്ഞാതം.

ഒരു ചോദ്യം. രണ്ടില്‍ ഒന്നാണ് സത്യമെങ്ങ്കില്‍ ഇരുട്ടോ വെളിച്ചമോ നുണ?

കഥാപാത്രങ്ങള്‍ തയ്യാര്‍. ഇനി വേണ്ടത് കഥ. പക്ഷേ...

എന്‍റെ പക്കല്‍ കഥകളില്ല, കഥാപാത്രങ്ങളേ ഉള്ളു...

അതുകൊണ്ടാണ് ഞാന്‍ അടരുന്ന ചുമരില്‍ നോക്കുന്നത്.

കൊഴിയുന്ന മുടിയിഴകള്‍ക്കിടയിലൂടെ...

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Human Beings

Its the beauty of life- Variety.
Heart sings out of joy seeing it.
All around, it surrounds every breath.
Every leaf, every vein- beauty, sayeth!

Heart sings again in pain,
Seeing those distorted and deviant.
Hurtin' so bad, heart bleeds,
Hurt it is, indeed a pain.

Still I see sense somewhere,
'cosI feel love in the air.
When I twist in pain and weep,
I feel human, I feel love!

Frustration! Anger! Add variety!
Being human, I live human.
Its okkkkkkkk... like my friend says.
Its the beauty of life- Variety!

Another Indian Episode!

Setting: A descent hotel, Sanath Nagar, Hyderabad. A/C Room
Characters: 8 Table full of people, One Waiter, one cleaner, one-god-knows-who character

Shot 1: Long shot of the name of the hotel from the other side of the hotel. Its all nicely decorated, illuminated, etc.
Shot 2: Close shot of appreciating faces of Arun and I on the other side of the road.
Shot 3: We walk towards the hotel crossing the hotel, carefully wading through the Hyderabadi traffic.

Now please dont care about shots.. I have no patience!

Arun and I enter the hotel. There is no free table in the non A/C section. Worried about our pockets, we entered the A/C section.
'Hmm... Nice place.' Exclaimed both of us! We sat at a free table. Waiting patiently for the waiter. Cleaner came, we asked for a menu card. Immediately, he brought us plates and tumblers! Wonderful! Then he proceeded to another table and took a menu. And walked to the cupboard and kept it safely there! Hmmm!

After 10 minutes, there came a waiter... He brought us a menu card on demand and disappeared. When he came that side again, we caught hold of him and ordered what we ate (Won't tell you what it was).

Another long wait of 15 minutes. In the meantime, all the 7 tables around us were empty too.. most of them shouting at the waiter and the hotel. But our waiter maintained his cool!

There comes our order! Good. Tasty, Delicious...
Now I got to tell you what we ordered- 2 Tandoori roti and 1 chicken curry. There were so many pieces of rotis in the bowl given to us. We had noticed earlier that all others were given full round uncut rotis. We smelt a rat.

Since we were hungry, we decided to order another roti. When we did so, the waiter said, "I already gave you 3. I will bring another one." We wondered: 'we ordered only 2, he gave us 3?'

So we arranged the cut pieces of the roti in a round and saw 5 pieces made a round full roti. We had eaten four pieces. That makes a total 9 pieces.

And when the waiter came round the next time, we asked him, 'how many rotis did you give us?'
He said, 'three.'
We asked: 'how many pieces are there in one roti?'
He said, 'four.'
We asked: 'How come then 3 rotis are only 9 pieces?'
He said: "%£$"@*&....."

He went back and brought us another roti. His face was tensed and not so comfortable- Other visitors were shouting at him too...

When we finished, we asked for a bill. While Arun went to wash his hands, he came and told me, 'Rs.130'
I said, 'give a bill'
He said: 'Its 130. 3 rotis and one chicken curry.'
I said, 'give a bill'
He said: "%£$"@*&....."

He fetched us a bill. We paid him Rs.130 exactly. He counted it thrice infront of us!

If we had not doubted, we would have tipped him. That would mean, he would cheat us and we would tip him!

My mind murmered, like one of my professors said, "WELCOME TO REALITY, WELCOME TO INDIA."

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Anger

This was painted in December 2007. The inspiration was a an incident where I felt disappointed and angry.

This Painting is named Anger