truth

remembrance

Nostalgia...

Love

Blessed are you who are able to bring tears into your friend's eyes.
If your memory makes one shed a drop of tear and spare a moment of adoration, you are blessed indeed.
Never in life do ignore a smile from a friend.
Be sure it will work miracles sometime in your life.
When people remember you later, they wont remember you for the money you spent for them. Remembrance is for the amount of time you spared to care for her/him.
Life is not very long to expect a next time for everything. Take the opportunity and be a friend.
Love is like rain. It falls only when there are clouds. And it soaks the land and makes life miserable. Yet is helps germination. Life springs after rain.
Love is like that.
It is painful. Yet is fulfilling. It gives hope. It makes your moments of expectation longer than ages. Yet it sweetens your loneliness and lessens sufferings.
Love.
This is the shortest sentence with the longest and the largest and the greatest ideal hidden in it.

Blessed are you my friend... because I weep on you.
Love.
That is what you gave me.
Love.
Though silent, that is what I have for you...

Spray it like me if you can!

What are the issues that you boast upon? Your family, big house, cute car, clever son, cell phone, or a beautiful wife or a handsome husband? Good. Do you know what people boast upon here in Secunderabad? Wait. Dont be embarassed or shocked when I actually say it. I mean, be prepared.


"Sprewwwwww....." Did you get it? Hmm... This is a sound, with spectacular visual effect, that you can see on the roads here. Red coloured spray of 'pan' and spit emerging from mouths adorned with yellow teeth, making rainbow-like formation in the air! Ah! Those lovely little fountains can never be forgotten especially if the spray lands on your pearl white shirt, on your way to the office or University or a wedding feast. Thanks to a lot of such sprayers, all the walls in the city have a red base, with designs better than Hussain's paintings. Great indeed is this talent.


Not over. Spray is only one mode. Other modes of 'painting the city red' are, straight spray with lower projection angles and longer projectile, plosive actionwhere the material goes straight down at high velocity, angular spit which follows a spiral trajectory, achieved by turning the head around while spittine, etc.


The other day, while I was returning from the railway station, I saw a crystal white UFO-like object with a short aura, flying from above, to the ground just half a metre ahead of me! I was terrified. I stood just like that for a few seconds. Then I realized that it was also the artistic craft of a young man who wanted to ease himself by spitting long and sharp! The problem was that, he tried it from a bus parked on the side. By god's grace, I was saved, otherwise, I would have been bathed in that crystal white liquid. YUCK!!!


Now a piece of warning. Be on the look out while you walk in the city. Someone may spray from anywhere around. Beware. Be ready to be sprayed. Be ready to evade sprays.

Eyes like these...

You didn't see it. I saw it. Probably, you looked at it, yet you didn't 'SEE' it. What?

Today, in community radio class, some of my classmates were presenting small topics. And I saw a very inspiring montage. A series of pairs of eyes- paires of eyes of different sizes, of different colours, belonging to different cultures, different nations. Some eyes said, "We are confident", some said we're not so confident." Some eyes fluctuated like a low voltage neon bulb. Some flickered in anxiety. Some were silent, yet proclaimed silence aloud. Some wandered in search of a soul, while some radiated a settled calm.

Yet all were eyes, eyes, that talked.

Eyes like these make me feel proud of my creator, the master artist who crafted those little dark spots in white lakes.

Eyes like these make me sing of beauty.

Miracle

What is a miracle? Dead man coming back to life, cure of terminal illness, Sun going black, elephants flying, etc... Yes, these are miracles.

But, usually we dont see these things happening in front of our eyes. To be true, mirales are our projections of impossible dreams. In other words, we name impossible things as miracles. By doing this, we also are confirming that miracles are 'never-to-be' incidents.

Yet I disagree with this idea of miracles. I see miracles all around, because I believe miracles are possible. And I see miracles happening aournd. You know what I am driving at: the smile of flowers, a baby's face, sun rising,... Sorry I did'nt mean that too.

I meant the lives of people. Confidence sparkling in their eyes, Beauty gleaming, Compassion that flows, Determination, etc.

Is'nt it a miracle when a human being comes back to life from despair and pessimism of the highest degree?

Dont you think it is a miracle to see a smile on the face of a woman while the whole body writhes in pain?

Dont you think it is a miracle to see someone walking with a crutches, with great difficulty, yet determined to WALK?

Do you not see miracle in the eyes of an old man, still waiting in hope, for his saviour?

I see miracle in their eyes, I see miracle in the air, because, I believe in miracles.

Left Right Left Right

I have found something very interesting. Here I come... EUREKA...

The other day, Prof. Upendran was teaching us about development of languages. Going back to millions of centuries, he demonstrated how some of our forefathers came down from the tree and lost their tails and hair (which some of us still regret).
In the course of explanation, he was speaking of lateralization of the brain. Suddenly, he turned his attention into some lateral topics! He He.. He wanted to amuse us may be...
In course of time, human brain began to grow. Its size increased. And languages began to develop since wo/man had to spend much of her/his time in caves during the ice age. Wondering why? You!!! In the cave, it was dark and you possibly cannot see what your neighbour is showing you in sign language. Wow! So language grew and grew...
The place language got in the brain was in the left part. So the left half of the brain developed faster. As you may well know, left hemisphere of the brain controls the right side of the body. Therefore, People started developing an affinity to the right side! Right became dominant side. People used right hand more than left. Remember, until then both hands were of same importance...
Now, the Prof. asked us: "who stands behind the groom at any wedding? What is his name?"
We said: "The best man."
Prof: Why is he called the best man? Is it because he looks the best? or the is the BEST man in the world?"
We dint know the answer. Yet we told him all our ideas about what we thought. Obviously all were wrong.
Prof: "Hei, earlier there was no system of marriage like ours now. No dating and arranged marriage. Man went around other villages, found a girl whom he liked, and later, he went with one of his STRONG an TALL friends to that village and just kidnapped the girl. That was the way brides were found."
"How cool!" we thought.
Prof: "So, that STRONG and TALL man is called the best man. He is best in helping the groom kidnap the girl. BEST in that sense."
But where does lateralization figure here?
Prof: "Now, the best man stands behind the groom. Where does the bride stand? On the left or on the right?"
We thought, tried to remember the weddings of our own parents! "On the left." we said.
Prof:"Why on the left? Left is considered to be the worst side. Evil was associated with left always. All left handed were thought to be cursed. Then Why???"
We didnt have an answer.
Now see the answer:"Remember it was a kidnap. So the parents and friends of the girl may come to rescue her. In case of such an attack, there is the best man standing behind the groom. Now groom needs to protect himself. He needs a sword. Where do you keep the sword? On left or right?"
"On the left side", we said.
Prof: "So, imagine there is an attack. Also imagine that the bride is on the best side, the right side. The groom draws his sword out... and there he decapitates the bride who is now on the right side! Do you want it to happen?"
"No," we said.
"Therefore the bride is on the left."

Prof: "Why do you wear your wedding ring on the left hand?"
Again we had no answer.
Prof: "Ancient Egyptians believed that a vein from the left ring finger goes straight to the heart. Therefore the ring is on the left."


Enough of lateralization, right?
Ya, I too think so.
Yet it is amazing how human beings thought and how thought directed action and so on. Its really amazing. Isnt it?

Photographs of my life

Life is a chain of events, as seen on a movie screen. Ans as you may very well know, all the scenes on the screen are results of multiple illusions which try to fool us with much realistic sense. Of course, we need not worry about somebody cheating us when we are in the theatre watching a movie. But we should be certainly be thinking of the mechanism of these movies which we take home as we leave the theatres.
As anyone who thinks little deep can see, the visuals we see influence us a lot- be it a photograph, painting, scenery, or a movie. But what escapes even those who think is the fact that beyond these visible visuals, there is an invisible level of visuals and audio which subtly influence and overpower us without our concent. What is it?

What is it?
It is nothing but the way you look at your neighbour. Have you ever noticed your own feelings as you went out of those air conditioned theatre rooms after spending a couple of hours, travelling over the world with strange characters? How did you look at your neighbour? How did you walk? Didnt you feel that your feet were a little above the ground? Didnt you?
This is what i mean.

But you see, things dont end there. These visuals remain in the unconscious and conscious minds and work their way. Its like incarnations. The film maker and the camera man and editor and the whole crew work on your brain like no one else did before.

If you dont believe, next time you go to cinema, hault, take a deep breath and observe yourself. YOU are the greatest example to study your neighbour!!!

Danger on Wheels

I was shocked when I saw a boy falling down on the foot-board of a moving APSRTC bus, while he boarded the fast moving bus, in one of the busiest streets of Secunderabad yesterday. To add to my shock, the conductor who was a witness coolly asks the boy for bus fare, as if nothing has happened! No reaction to what he sae, no warning, no correction.
Not over, when the boy fell, there were four other students standing on the food board. I was shocked. But no one else was shocked.
While talking to a friend, after this incident, he told me that it was shocking for me because my eyes were new to these sights! As you go along, you will be ok!!!
Oh yes. I think I will be ok, if I close my eyes to thes nonsense. But I cant do it. Today, that boy fell on the foot board. What would happen if he falles under the wheels tomorrow? Are my eyes t digest and forget that too? No. I think some one has to bell the Cat.

The APSRTC conductors are so careless about safety of passsengers. They never instruct people to move away from foot boards, even when the bus is almost empty. The traffic police here plays a role, not more than that of a 'scare crow'. Often, I feel they are there to witness these dangetous tricks played by 'amateuf circus artists'! I have seen them mercileely using their 'Lattis' on such passengers, in other states of India. I would be happy if they do so here too.

Pain and fear are not desireable, But often, they TEACH us a lot...

Let us be ONE

Today, I heard an educated professor saying, "In India, the society 'IS' caste based!"
I wanted to corect her and make that 'IS' a 'WAS.' But you know, I am only a student! and she is a Ph.D. and is a professor and draws a fat salary from this 'caste based society.'
So, it is not your knowledge but degrees that determines whether what yuo say is right or wrong. Therefore, my heart told me, dear young man, do not tend to go against the rights of the educated. You may become the 'WRONG.'



Dear Reader, if you are one of those 'educated' gentle folk, please think again. It is our attitudes that hold us back. India is still caste based in your mind and mind you, in reality, it will remain so for you. A humble appeal I have to make is "please do THINK." Use your reason. Open your eyes. The one who sits next to you is a human being, not a fanatic, not a caste identity. Look at human beings and see humanness, longing for love and unity, need to love and be loved...

we are all ONE.


Come on, let us awake from this Millenius old slumber of discrimination and labelling.

LET US BE ONE

road side

Road side is a side of life.
We really dont see what is on the side of the road.
We really dont need to see.
It is because we are busy.
And we speed on our way.
So we dont see what is on the road side.

Yesterday, I found a man on the road side.


It happened because i was not speeding on the way.
I was selfish.
I wanted to absorb someone's misery and make it a commodity.
That is why I found this man on the road side.
Quite selfish am I.
And look at me... I am not ashamed of being selfish.
And not aware of the dire needs of that man and all those he represents.
I am also part of the two advertisement boards beside him.
I preach life and pretend to protect it.
But in reality, I only laugh at weakness.
As the great man said, poor are always with us.
Pardon me my dear man for my insensitivity.
For I am ignorant.
Teach me generosity.
Teach me to give.
Teach me to offer and share.
Open my eyes...
Its you teacher, that I owe my life to.
Come and take over me.

My First Day at College

My First Day at College

The day broke an hour prior to ‘my day.’ Waking up-though late-was quite a task. Yet, expectations of a new beginning threw me out of the bed. A quick rush through the morning business made me ready for the church-thought of beginning the day well!
Huh! As the saying goes, man (woman) proposes, God disposes. Half way through, the heavens opened and lo, showers of blessing poured down, drenching me inside out. Assured of God’s blessing, I came away like a wet dog.
Drying up, eating, dressing- all these happened in 20 minutes. And I was ready to get wet again!
Wading through 2 feet deep water on the road, my friend and I managed to reach the bus station. Thanks to the merciful drivers who splashed enough water on us and made us look like chicken. The first bus to the College came round the corner and disappeared round another corner! The next bus seemed to remain perpetually at the bus stop. A third bus took us into the city, which was almost like a swimming pool, except for the dirt. Thank god, we landed safely in a puddle as we jumped out when it slowed down.
Again another adventurous walk took us to the College. With sighs of relief, we headed for the notice boards which exhibited notices 3 0 5 days old. It bluffed us, saying nothing about neither classes nor class rooms. So we were there, at the College, like two lost tourists, in a large group of young folks, not knowing what to do.
Great, isn’t it? Hmm… not over yet. Each time I spotted a class, I reached just in time when they were dispersing. Now its 4 pm. I am happy because I could meet scores of other friends who were equally lost as I were. And… of course, I had 2 full meals in the meanwhile. A great day indeed – my first day at College!
Secunderabad,
20.08.2009.

full of emotions...

What can the mouth say when the heart is so full of emotions and eyes, of tears?
Silence, embrace my weaknesses and erase my sinfulness, for I have done wrong.
Love is to be and I did not live it up to the full.
And lo! Today I sit lost in the middle of nowhere, groping like a fool.
Oh! Forgive me my dear, and don’t go far away from this wretched creature…

Love is a decision

Love is a decision.
I have decided not to!
Where are thy charms, Oh! Togetherness! A dream of the past.
Let me be gone into your bosom, Come and take me away, Obscurity!
Death is no means when love is
And is humbug when love is not too…
That is why life is like this for me, for a man needs love like none else.
Gone are the days, long gone are they.
And here am I, Oh! Lord, dying…
Dying to meet you soon, sooner...

You have done me in!

You have done me in!
Yes, you have, because the moment I think of you, I am filled with tears, my voice trembles and I mumble. Truly, I go blind at the sight of your trace. Mind flies high for too long before coming down to the earth.
Ever since you left (rather I convinced myself that you left), I have been so how wonderful it would have been to be together…
I miss you.
I t was your pains, sorrows, joys, smiles, complaints, laughter and tears that filled and lit up my world. Now, devoid of them, heart lies vacant, deserted.
Love was…
I cherish those days.
And I miss the… badly…
Knowing it is impossible, I desire… for heart is such. It has no reason…. It only desires.

doore ninnum

always new pains...

i discovered that life means nothing but a lump of pains. Only thing that matters is that some pains are better that others in quality! Life has a lot of them... and i started loving them...

Love....

and it was day again...
and it was night again...

so it was...
so it was again...

love...
see you

തിരിച്ചു വരവ്

Moment by moment

Moment by moment, I realize your presence in this dry desert.

Springing from this simmering heat, my pains flower, into tears of loss.

Down the alleys of loneliness, I travel alone, alone do I travel.

Come, and embrace me, oh, cold hands of death.

Come and take me from these feelings of love-lessness.

Awaken from this state of silent chaos, what do I do to keep life?

Round and round gathers moss, on the peach coloured wounds of my heart.

Just as the love of a bird flies above its head, my love flies miles away.

How could I be a creature still living?

How could I be a human still living?

You left a space in my life

So vast none could fill it at all!

Come back be my friend, come back.

Can I have you as mine and mine alone?

Times fly away, not much is left.

Life ebbs away let us make much of it.

Can we? No, we can’t. But can’t we?

Do I love you to have you?

There are sighs to answer these questions.

There are nights to answer in tears.

Oh! Soul, weep then, shed your last drop.

Be dry, and dark. Die in obscurity.

Love

I don’t know how life would feel about the emptiness of my own soul. When life began like a stream gushing down the mountains of sorrows, it looked wonderful and there seemed no limits or boundaries that the little stream could not surrender. Then, life was a joy and smile was the food of every minute. To be the one who is happy was the call that we received....

 

But today, life has changed a lot. Sweetness is not to be found anywhere around the shelf of self. There, one could see a stream of lean water, flowing with much force towards a pond of little water. The thirst of the pond remains an everlasting desire, or dream that fills the emptiness of the stream with further nothingness. This is life today.

 

Everything has changed. Changed a lot.

There are good people in this world. These people whom we encounter become our consolation and our helping hand in times of difficulty. I love them. I have a lot of them in my life.

 

My friend, you are my friend for ever. Ever in my life would I starve for love, because you have filled my life with love. Overwhelming experiences of love and care project themselves as the zenith of union and companionship. I love those days. I love those moments. I love you.

 

Memory is the gift that god gave humans in order that he or she lives in the right path. When dear ones desert us, when dear ones are not near enough in space, we resort to memories in order to be able to live a life of sweetness and enthusiasm. My friend, you are not near me in space. But you cannot be nearer to me than now.

 

Today, I was thinking of you my dear friend. As usual, my eyes got wet and there was a lump in my throat. Raising my eyes to the almighty, once again I prayed that there may be roses in your path and thorns in mine.

 

But the speciality of today is that I began to thank god for the pain I have. All these days, I used to curse my pains and pray for your well being. But today, I prayed for you and thanked god for all my pains. I offered all my pains for your sake, that you may be safe and well in heart and body. As I have told you earlier, my only prayer is that you be well.

 

Again, I started thinking of future as we or I envisage. You and yours in a small nest of yours and me on my road. I thought I would not come your way again. It’s really painful. How could I ever think of getting out of you? But as we know very well, it’s good for both of us to remain away from each other. Don’t you think so? I do. I can’t live a single moment without your memories. But I cant stop thinking of and desiring for your goodness. I am selfish. But I am selfish for you friend. I love you. 

Still here

Yes I am still here...
Very much alive...
He is silent!
Very much silent...

Life goes on...
Like a stream that searches for meaning...
Still alive...
Yet...

If you see me,
Pray for me and for those I live for...
For they are my life...
They are what i die for...

Pain

Dear friend,

You are my friend..

By all means, I want to remain so..

But the world is so much like a Jealous devil..

Love you like a boy loves his old pencil..

Loves it so much...

But ready to give it away to the one who he believes could take care of it well...

Life is a struggle..

Love is pain..

Heart is heavy whenever i think of you..

And I think of you always...

Death would have been better for me..

I want to escape into obscurity..

Not from you dear..

But from myself...

Dont know why cant I make up my mind!

Cant think of a change...

I tried forcing me..

I cant, I failed..

Love is pain..

Death is better than life in this scorching heat of separation..

Who shall I blame?

Me and only me..

Love...

NISSANGATHA

maricha jeevitham

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